The Advantages of living after 50

Originally posted on 22 May 2011 :

Living after fifty has some advantages, but living after sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety has many more.

Raj Chatterji is ninety five, and in his inimitable style, he has said something in one of his  middles which should be etched on stone and  be made compulsory reading for every child who goes to the high school. Forgive me, if I have forgotten the exact words, but the message is important.

Mr Chatterji went to Great Britain in the mid-thirties (a big thing those days), took a degree and sat for the ICS along with the indomitable writer, Khushwant Singh. Both of them failed to qualify. Old Khushwant turned to law and Raj Chatterji did the equivalent of an MBA and got a job as a marketing executive with the “Imperial Tobacco Company” (still called ITC, but with a different full form). He was well paid, but lacked ‘status’.

Upon his return in 1937 0r 38, he fell in love with a stunning beauty whose father had a healthy bank balance. He did all he could to win her heart. But then, a King’s Commissioned Indian Officer was posted in that station, and he knew that his game was over. Heart broken, he sulked and wrote some poems, but no one read them. And that made him feel worse. Fortunately for Mr Chatterji, he lived long enough to see that ‘stunning beauty’ twenty years after that emotional trauma. She had two layers on the chin and three tiers on the stomach. Her tongue was so foul that she could scare a mad dog away. The houses in her immediate neighborhood were lying vacant because no was willing to risk his peace of mind.

I myself am nearing seventy. I have  seen scores of irresistible faces wilt and fade, with no one wanting to spare a moment to look at them. If Saleem (later called Jahangir) had known this eternal truth he may not have taken cudgels with Akbar the Great. And that might have denied us the enormous pleasure of viewing “Mughal-e-Azam”  But then such is life!

And there are some advantages of old age,too. I remember a person well past his middle age, who said,

 ”I have no enemies in the world. They are all dead!”

Let me tell you that I am not old, yet.  “Abhi to maiN jawaan hooN” because every now and then I meet some one 25 years older than myself. But if I do live to grow past  a particular age, my wish would be,

“Go haath ko jumbish nahiN aankhoN meiN to dam hai     (jumbish=strength to move)

Rehne do abhi saagar-o-meena merey aagey …”          (saagar-o-meena=wine bottle and glass)

Now over to the ‘forward’ sent by teezam

The Advantages of living after 50!

Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you too. Don’t laugh… is all true…

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02.. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run–anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask,”did I wake you?”

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15.. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.

20.And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience

  1. Inderpal Sandhu says:

    Talking about stunning beauty and –losing it, have you read the story “The Necklace” by Guy De Maupassant?

    If not, you can read it on the internet. by Goggling for “The Necklace”.

  2. Manjit Singh says:

    A good article. Keep writing. You will soon be seventy.I like to assure you: THERE IS STILL A LOT OF FUN, EVEN AFTER YOU ARE SEVENTY AND ONE!

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